I HAD DIED THAT DAY

Just a few pings,

And you touched my hearts strings.

I did resist, 

Guess wasnt ready for those twists.

Millions of doubts persisted,

And at the same time you insisted.

Was it my solitude, Or your attitude.

Was I so vulnerable or you so Amicable.

My heart too tender, it did surrender,

To your splendor.

It seemed so destined, 

With no chance of a headwind.

A silent acceptance without pretence,

My brain was knowing, towards you I was flowing.

You were so perfect and I felt so blessed,

That warm embrace, did erase

All the pain, all the suffering

You were my prince charming.

And then, when the love was all around, Even vaccum could sound.

Days were brighter and nights serene.

I was blank and your love was the caffeine.

Days seemed never ending,

and path to happiness never-bending.

Those talks, those laughs, those smiles and laughters,

Those coffees and conversations and elation and flirtations.

My universe glittered, as you whispered,

Those MAGICAL words.

They were so profound, and my heart spellbound.

I knew, it was you,

A surety, of you being my Destiny.

Foggy days and dark hours,

Were filled with misty mornings and lovely showers.

It seemed it would never change,

But for momentry happiness, life does take revenge.

Heart broken, dreams shattered,

The glassy palace of my love hammered.

As you vanished, I stood astonished,

Trying to stand, to smile and pretend.

To live with that pain, It was making me insane

Knew you're no more in life, But heart n mind were at constant strife.

I know not, what made you go,

Still wanna know, though long ago.

Wished you were here to listen, to hold,

To love, to console, to cheer, to scold.

To argue, to quarrel, to tussle to fight,

To make e'thing around go alright.

And now that u've really gone,

And am done with a long moan,

Wanna tell you, when you had departed your way,

I HAD DIED THAT DAY.

~~Pali

शायद तुम कल आओगे

  
  इन खाली पन्नों पर, दो चार उलटते पुलटते शब्द लिख कर, जान डालने की कोशिश कर रही हूँ.
  जान पन्नों मैं, या मन मैं, क्योंकि सब खाली पड़ा है,
  एक सन्नाटे सा, उस आहट के इंतज़ार मैं,
  जो झंकृत कर सके, आत्मा के उन तारों को
  जिनसे सुर ताल और लय परे जा चुके हैं||

  आज सोचा, रंग डालूं इन कोरे पन्नों को,
  आस पास देखा, तो रंग ओझल थे.
  बस एक कोरे कागज़ की सफेदी,
  बहुत खोजा पर नहीं मिले.
  शायद तुम ने छिपा दिए, और तुम भी छिप गए||

  आओ तो रंग लेते आना, मैं राह तकती हूँ.
  चाहा की आप ही रंग लू अपने जीवन को.
  पर देखा तो दो ही रंग थे,
  रात का, और चांदनी का.
  रात तो मेरी परछाई सी स्याह थी,
  और चांदनी मन सी कोरी||

  पर उन के लिए भी आता है सवेरा,
  और रंग देता है भोर को सुनहरा.
  हर भोर के साथ बुनती हूँ खवाब की तुम आओगे,
  सतरंगी सपने से, मेरे अपने से||

  पर तुम नहीं आते,
  आती है तो बस सांझ,
  जो ठहर सी जाती है.
  और मैं, हर रात के संनाटते मैं,
  सोचती हूँ,
  शायद तुम कल आओगे.

~~ Pali 

I am never me

   I am never me,

  They dont allow to be.

  So many reasons,

  that make me hibernate in various seasons.

  No I dont die..

  I just lie.

  For him, for them,

  For family for world.

   I know I cant be me,

  Coz thats how they wanna see.

  Have to be loving, have to be giving

  Thats the cost I pay for my living.

  But then theres another she

  The “Me within Me”.

  Who cries who shouts,

  Whose ugly whos stout.

  I know that has to be hidden,

  For ages its been forbidden.

  And so I kill the me within me..

  Thats how its meant to be.

  Am strong, I can endure,

  But I want someone to hold me for sure.

  To be strong, to walk along.

  Or I shall break and so would the world,

  It would go curled and swirled and hurled.

  I promise to resist till I can,

  Still I want you to be a wise man.

  To love, to hold, to listen to me,

  And I know in you, I shall see my thee.

  ~~Pali